While I waited for my computer to boot up (only a few seconds) I glanced at my reflection and thought, “there is still beauty there.” That’s not how I was feeling this morning when I tried to look half decent for a family photo shoot we had planned. Just under six weeks after giving birth it can be hard to stand in front of the mirror and love what you see. Yes, it’s an amazing feat and being a mother is truly grand. But it’s still nice to feel pretty.
No one except my four year old daughter was even remotely looking forward to the photo shoot. It was intended to be a fun experience and while there were some laughs and smiles, it wasn’t quite what I had hoped. Expectations are a bitch. The photographer was great, she is a friend of ours, a long time friend of my husband’s family and it was no fault of hers that my morning went awry.
It felt like a never-ending cycle of brattiness (daughter), sarcasm (eldest son), yelling (me), crying (kids), and silent indifference (gracious husband). Yet, the stress inducing events of the day passed. As they always do. Once I am able to breathe and reset everything tends to fall back into perspective. Sometimes I wish I could restart the day with calm resolve but life is not a blog post, nor a DVD.
Each day starts and ends with a smile. I wake up grateful, happy just to enjoy a cup of coffee with my husband. And I go to sleep with peace in my heart when I look at my healthy sleeping children (the silence helps with this!). The in between parts are sometimes frustrating, harrowing, and stressful. On occasion days are filled with nostalgia, longing, even sadness. But I find that much of life is made up of moments full of laughter and joy. These times get us through the others and make all the beautiful smiles possible.