Me and my Petty little problems…

Please excuse the obscene language. (It’s just one word.)

If you can’t laugh with your family, friends and yourself, life is dull. Laughter is such an incredible remedy for so many emotionally down moments. And I love to laugh. Out loud, and without pretense. Uninhibited deep guttural laughing. Or sometimes just a little hehe works too.

But that’s not actually what this is about.

I had a lovely, light-hearted conversation with a friend yesterday (it involved lots of laughter, surprise!) and it got me thinking of how awesome it feels to speak without worry of being judged. And how great to is to vent about the stupid shit that doesn’t matter tomorrow (and the important stuff that always matters), knowing that the listener doesn’t think you are foolish and ungrateful.

I know some pretty f**king amazing women. From the woman who gave me life and her mother and sister who helped raise me, to the girlfriends and colleagues I’ve met along the way in these 40 years, there are a multitude of fantastic beings I get to call friend. Some bonds are stronger than others but all are important to me. And today seemed like a great day to share how very blessed I feel knowing these women and having these relationships.

Some are trying to improve this great world, one student at a time. Some have taken on the challenging role of motherhood. Some just have kind words to share or time to listen. All have a meaningful place. So thank you. For being…well, YOU. I love you.

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The next generation…

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I couldn’t let this day go by without a little shout out to my girls.
Of course there are great men in my life too, but today isn’t about you fellas.  =)

Adrienne.

It’s nice to feel loved.

After a ten day trip to NY to visit my ailing uncle and exhausted aunt/cousins, I’m feeling grateful to the point of tears.
When I arrived and went straight to the hospital my uncle was shaking with a fever and in immense pain. It was touch and go for the first few days while he fought to overcome infection.

A little background here…

My uncle is the only father figure I’ve ever truly had. He lovingly treated me as his daughter, as did my aunt. My cousin and his wife, like a brother and sister in law. We are close beyond words. When my mom died last July, it affected all of us tremendously. So understandably, I was aching for and with my family while my uncle battled with all his might. In addition to this, we have watched and supported him in overcoming a heart attack, bladder cancer, and most recently a stroke, to name only a few of his hardships. 

After a few days, he started to get better and as I leave today he is being transferred to a facility where he can start his rehabilitation. Though it will be a long road and possibly months, we are all optimistic for his homecoming.

Family came in over the weekend…

At one point my aunt (somewhat jokingly) voiced her concern that my uncle might think he was dying with several family members coming in. I did my best to reassure her that it would be the opposite. He was born a family man. Nothing in this world makes him happier than bringing family together. The visit was beneficial, not only for my uncle, but for all of us. Sometimes there’s nothing more refreshing and warming than quality time spent with family members you don’t see often enough.

To my family and friends… Keep those positive thoughts going. For him and all the others in need of support. It’s working.

I am beyond grateful to my mother in law especially who made this trip possible, obviously my husband who understands how much it meant to me, and everyone that helped with my kids and moral support.

And I am very much looking forward to hugging up my sweet little ones… It seems I’ve been missed while I was gone… Lucky, lucky me.

Adrienne

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Happy Birthday Mom

Today passed like I expected it would… with a touch of melancholy.

It was a holiday here, so we would have chatted with mom on FaceTime or Skype so she could see the kids. We would have spent an hour or more sharing woes and laughs. I would have said I sent her cards only yesterday so naturally they would be late… and would have thanked her for the  Father’s Day cards (at least two) that arrived, right on time.

Instead, I had a little cry last night. I thought of all the loved ones also thinking of my mom on this day, her birthday, the first since she passed away last July. I hope they thought of happy memories like I did. She would have been 66. It’s still so hard to believe she’s truly gone. Sometimes it just feels like it’s been a while since we spoke, until it hits me that we will never speak again.

Well, I can still wish her a happy birthday…

I love you mom and miss you every single day. No amount of passing time will change that. I wish we could chat, laugh, hug one last time but my memories will have to get me through now. I took time to make faces and laugh with Logan when I was getting him ready for bed. And I sat and watched Emily dance around and laughed with her before her bedtime. I know that’s what you would have done with them. And I wrote this. For you. Happy Birthday Mom.  

Ending off this day with a smile and feelings of love and warmth rather than tears and grief.

Adrienne

LOL – Lots Of Love

This morning I woke up early, came downstairs with intentions to write, and was pleasantly surprised when my husband walked downstairs as well. While our three kids slept, we chatted over coffee. Actually he chatted – a rare occurrence and one of my favorite ways to spend the quiet hours of the morning.

Love brings us through many challenges and difficult times in life. But it doesn’t go it alone. Love’s sidekick “Laughter” takes a back seat but wow, talk about wind beneath wings. A laugh can brighten a mood, cheer up a room, even push out a tear or two. Most importantly, laughing makes you smile. It’s pretty hard not to smile when you are laughing. (I know several silly readers are now trying to laugh without smiling!)

I have at least a million reasons to smile. So that’s what I’m doing. Smiling because of and with… my kids, my husband, my family, my friends, my memories.

I had the most amazing pomegranate the other day… I recalled this short post from January 24, 2013:

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Pomegranates

I love pomegranates. Every time I start to peel one I think of my mom. We used to eat them together. And I remember how cool I thought it was that every time you pulled another layer off there were more seeds! As a child, it seems never ending and was super fun to eat. 🙂

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Just like life. After each layer, there are more seeds. After each chapter, there are more words. After each challenge, there are more obstacles. Such is life, best to just go with it.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.“ – Lao Tzu

Wishing you a safe and happy Christmas. If times are tough right now, I wish for you peace and strength to find the joy in all the love and laughter that surrounds you.

Adrienne

 

If I die today…

…then you should know…

You are the force that keeps me grounded, the glue that holds me together.

You are my rock, my sanity, my balance.

Your ability to take on whatever comes your way is an inspiration.

Your calm quiets my mind, body & soul.

You warm my heart with your loving embrace, good morning kisses, and smiles meant just for me.

You are my love, today and always.

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This month we celebrate Father’s Day and all the amazing men out there doing their best and rocking the “daddy” role.

We always say how blessed we are to have [THREE] kids, but I know my children are lucky too.  They have an amazing father and I am so proud to be his wife. I love our life and look forward to the challenges we will face together and years of joy to come.

You never know what tomorrow has in store for you, so why wait to make sure your loved ones know how much you care?

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Adrienne

On Love.

I have maybe ten minutes of “me” time… so here goes:

On Love.

Unconditional. Heartbreaking. Gut-wrenching. Love.

Love is like the universe.  It’s limitless. It’s impossible to fathom or truly put into words.

If you were lucky to grow up in a loving family (as I was) you learn about unconditional love early on. There is always a bubble of love surrounding you – made up of the love you share with your family.  As you get a little older, this love bubble starts to expand to include good friends you’ve made, perhaps a boyfriend/girlfriend or two.  You meet new people and you find that you have space for them, not only in your life, but in your heart.

Maybe you “fall in love”, get married (or don’t), and think “this is the most incredible feeling in the world – what we have could not match any other love or ever be broken.”  In fact, you may love this partner so much, you willingly accept and love their family, even take on a stepchild whom you grow to love more than you thought was possible.

Then one day maybe you have a child of your own.  You experience a love like no other.  You finally really understand how your parents feel.  This love is inexplicable.  It is the most powerful emotion you have ever experienced.  And you may even think, “that’s it – there is simply no more love to give – no more space in my ‘heart’ to love anyone else.”

Until you do.

A new friend. Another child. It turns out there is no limit to how much love you can give.  The more love you know, the more love you are able to share.  Your love bubble grows infinitely.  It’s boundless, just like the universe.

I am a sucker for a good love story.  Maybe because my life has been just that – a story of love.

– Adrienne

Love.

My cousin and his wife had a baby nine days ago.  This baby girl has brought such joy to my life and I haven’t even met her yet (she’s far away in NY, I’m far away in Trinidad).  I love her to pieces!  This momentous event, brings to mind all the love I have as a parent.  It’s an incredible and indescribable experience.  And while it took some time to get used to the idea of another baby, I couldn’t be happier about what lies ahead.  As the exhaustion starts to abate, I find myself enjoying this pregnancy and all it’s wonderment as much as I did my first.

Pregnancy

Adrienne